As new mom my guess is that you spend a lot of time wondering if you are doing this parenting thing right, and just barely keeping up with what you think needs to be done to keep your house running.
Self care seems impossible and sleep is unpredictable.
How are you supposed to cook nutritional meals when your baby is crying, wants to nurse or be held?
Not to mention that your body feels unsupportive and tired most of the time.
It's really tough.
What would it be like if you could take some tasks
off your list
and still have them happen?
You can.
But you need to ask for help
Asking for help can feel like a big challenge. It might seem like more work than it’s worth.
Or maybe you are getting lots of 'help' right now but it's not the kind of help you need.
I get it. It's not easy.
I want you to get some of those things taken care of so that you can have the time to rest, heal, nourish and rejuvenate your body.
You just did a ton of work!
Growing and birthing a baby takes a lot of energy.
People who don't acknowledge the work their body has done, by slowing down and letting it heal, often end up dealing with pelvic floor and abdominal separation issues which are a big pain in the butt, back, and pants.
If any of this sounds familiar, I want you to know that you aren't alone.
I also want you to know that that other mom who you met at the moms group probably feels the same way.
Please reach out to the people around you, they want to help you, and no one has it all together and figured out. Raising a child is hard and it's a lot easier with support.
If reaching out for help sounds daunting to you, I made a 'Get it done Now Guide about 'How to Ask Your Peeps for Help that's Actually Helpful'
So you can ask for the kind of help you need without a lot of fuss and effort.
I made the guide as easy to use and as practical as I could.
It includes:
- A checklist of all the things you could ask for help with so you don't have to think. Instead you can feel it out with your gut, and just ask yourself the question, "would that be helpful for me? (Let me know if you add any more that aren't on the checklist and I'll add them to the next version of the guide.)
- Questions to help you generate a list of people who might want to help.
- Two email templates. One for requesting help and one requesting different help, from someone who has been 'helping' in a way that isn't what you want.
- Suggestions for how to set up systems that make the people wrangling simple and way less work, emotionally, energetically and practically
- A template for how to set up your task lists so your people don't need to ask for your help on how to help you.
I encourage you to download the guide here and work through it. So that you can have less on your plate and get more rest, quality time with yourself, your partner, your child, or time doing something that you love.
You can do this.
It will make a big difference.
Donyne works with moms like you to help them get the help they need to heal smoothly after pregnancy and childbirth. She works with moms all over the world by the wonder of video chat and in person in the beautiful Comox Valley, BC, Canada.